I know. Ever had one of those days? Not a "my car won't start" or, "I woke up with a cold" Or, a "I didn't pay the bill on time and there is a 30 dollar penalty tacked on my next bill " kind of day.
Like a "wait. what did I do???" kind of day. After getting stabbed in the back. Or, after a phone call where someone blindsides you with verbal slap to your face. Or, just waking up to how you have set your affection on a person so much more then they have ever cared for you.
No. I'm not talking about my hubby. He's my rock. He always will be too, no matter what we have gone through, it's been like crazy glue where it just makes us stick closer.
This is more a heart problem. One day you wake up and you say, "wait. Why am I doing this for this person who gives me nothing but junk in return."
These days come to me usually when I'm on a deadline or lots of crazy stuff is happening in my life and I need to focus.
Just talked to a friend yesterday about that fault in me. My lack of being able to focus. And, if you want to distract me then come at me where my heart is soft.
Always. That's where I get hit.
Not like a fiery dart, or a dagger in the back, but, more like a grade A time bomb.
Melodrama runs strong in my family. When my oldest daughter was a teenager she was known to belt out "poor unfortunate soul" right after dinner. And if you missed that performance, there were repeat performances after that. I kind of miss it....
But, she feels things deeply and she would go on and on about her disappointments. And than some... So, our catch phrase was "save the drama for your mama" her response was "you are my mama."
Feeling kind of like one of those days today. So much drama and most of it is going on inside of my head. Lol!
All because I have a new website to launch. Exciting! A summary to create for a writing retreat in a few weeks and my first all -time book signing. Gulp. Next weekend.
So, would I call myself ADHD? No cause I think that would do a disservice to those who truly deal with this obstacle. Am I a drama queen? I don't know maybe. Mostly, though I'm just human.
I hurt because I love. I love deeply. And, a person does not always get the same love back. But, it's a call. And, a command. So I will keep on loving no matter how much it hurts.
"He loves us, so we love."
It's not always fun is it? Tell you what next time my daughter belts out "poor unfortunate soul" I'll give you a call and you can come have dinner with us for a repeat performance.
God's good isn't He?
Have a day full of His love. There's nothing like it in this world.